I have been battling with depression for a long time. I know for sure that I was depressed at about 15 and it has been a thorn in my side ever since. Sometimes I’m winning the battle and other times I need to be reminded that the battle isn’t my own.
After a nasty bout of post partum depression last year, I wanted to share some words with those who are currently in the thick of it. I know that I have a number of friends who are there right now so this is for you:
I want you to know that you’re in my prayers. You always are (in case you didn’t know) but particularily at this moment about the emotional roller coaster that is your life right now. One thing that I used as a reminder of the light at the end of the tunnel was putting a few Bible verses on index cards and putting them in my chore card box so I could read them every day (or at least every day that I remembered to open my box!). Even if I didn’t do the chore cards, I felt better just reading my verses out loud. Here are the ones that I found regular strength and comfort in:
I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you. Psalm 32:8
Look to the Lord and His strength; seek His face always. Remember the wonders He has done, His miracles, and the judgements He pronounced. 1 Chronicles 16:11-12
My flesh and my headt may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:26
So do not fear, for I am with you; Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous hand. Isaiah 41:10
No matter how bad I felt, whether it was last year with my PPD or the worst year of my depression 8 years ago, I always had that Light at the end of the tunnel. The promise that this valley would end. And it will. You’re not going to just “snap out of it” and you’re not going to find a miracle cure (though if you do then you have to share with me!!!!) but you will slowly build things up again. One step at a time. Until you get to the point that you can look back and realize that it’s been a while since you had a bad day, your only goal is to survive. Like that popular poem says, “rock your babies, because babies don’t keep.”
You are a fabulous mother and your children know how much you love them. They will never forget that no matter how out of control you may feel. Breathe in, breathe out. And cry if you need to. And always remember that there is a Light. Let me know if you need help finding Him!
Love always from your friend who has been there and survived.